Batting a Bat
by chilled monkey
Summary: Batman runs into Ito during a mission to Tokyo and decides to take him out. Will he succeed? Warning, light Batman-bashing.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own either Batman or Kyou Kara Ore Wa! This story is purely a work of fan-fiction. No profit is being made from it.

 **Author's Note:** Batman's hatred of rock and roll is a reference to Atop the Fourth Wall. Linkara is amazing!

* * *

It had begun with a theft at a Wayne Enterprises research facility in which some advanced computer chips had been stolen. Batman had immediately sprung into action and traced the chips to Tokyo. As Bruce Wayne he had booked a flight over at once and as soon as night had fallen he had headed out and started making his way through the city. On his way though something had distracted him.

Batman perched on a rooftop and scowled as he looked down at the scene taking place below. A young man in a black uniform was single-handedly battling a group of punks and winning. He didn't display any technique or sign of training, just basic brawling, but his strength and endurance were impressive as he sent punks flying with powerful punches.

The thing that really concerned the Caped Crusader though was that the brawler's black hair had been styled into a column that pointed straight upwards and ended in long spikes.

 _He must be a fan of rock and roll, maybe even punk_ Batman thought, his rage growing. _That sick *******! He must be stopped!_

His mission completely forgotten, he secured a grappling line to the rooftop edge and began clambering down the wall, just barely keeping his anger under control.

* * *

 _Why me? Why does this always happen to me?_ Shinji Ito wondered as he ducked under a wide swing of a baseball bat and drove his elbow into the wielder's gut. He doubled over and Ito took him out with an uppercut.

Ito hadn't been looking for trouble. He had been minding his own business, on his way to meet his girlfriend Hayagawa Kyoko for their date at a restaurant, when a group of hooligans had appeared in front of him. It was the usual story, he and Mitsuhashi had come across some of them bullying some kids and had given them a thrashing to teach them a lesson. Now they wanted revenge

He had tried to tell them to leave but of course they had ignored him and attacked. Ito wasn't really worried as despite the weapons they were carrying these guys were weaklings he could handle easily, but he didn't want to annoy Kyoko by being late.

After just a few minutes all of the goons were beaten. He took a cautious look around and then relaxed once he was sure they were all laying unconscious on the ground.

"Right, on to meet up with Kyoko-chan."

But as he turned to leave someone emerged from the shadows of a nearby alleyway. He was taller and more heavily built than Ito, and wore a grey costume with a yellow and black bat emblem on his chest and a yellow utility belt around his waist. His head was covered by a blue cowl with pointy ears. Only his visible jaw showed that he was a Westerner. He wore a blue cape with scalloped edges, blue boots and matching gloves. For some reason he was wearing blue underpants over his grey leggings.

 _Oh great, who's this freak?_ Ito wondered.

"Look I don't want any trouble" he said.

"Tell that to these guys" the costumed guy replied. His Japanese was fluent but the gravely voice he spoke in made him hard to understand.

"They started it" Ito protested.

"But I'm ending it" Batman said with a scowl. "You're going down punk."

He pulled out a bolo, spun it above his head and threw it. Ito ducked under it and it whizzed over his head to wrap around a bin with a metallic _clang!_

"Right, that's it!"

Ito charged and threw a series of alternating rights and lefts, all of which Batman easily slipped by moving his head slightly to either side. He tried an uppercut but it too was dodged merely by his foe taking a small step back. Batman then hooked his right foot around the back of Ito's ankle and pulled. Ito lost his balance and fell backwards but managed to roll away and hurriedly get to his feet.

"Damn it stand and fight, don't just dodge around like a twinkle-toes" he complained.

"You're sloppy punk. No skill, no discipline" Batman answered.

Ito came in again with another volley of punches that were evaded just as easily. His frustration building he threw a wild kick, but Batman caught his ankle with one hand, hammered his elbow down on Ito's thigh and then landed a back-fist punch to his face that knocked him down again.

This time, rather than try to roll away he threw a leg sweep. Batman was caught by surprise and went down. He sprang back up instantly but Ito had managed to get up first.

With a roar he lowered his head and rushed the Caped Crusader, aiming to tackle his opponent back to the ground sp that he could start pummelling him. Batman didn't even try to dodge; instead he planted himself and met the charge head-on.

Ito was stopped in his tracks as if he had run into a wall. He grunted as Batman slammed two knee strikes into his gut, followed by a front kick that sent him staggering back.

He managed to awkwardly block a left hook but the follow-up right hit him directly, the impact knocking him off his feet and spinning him around in mid-air before he landed on the ground. Dazed and seeing stars he looked up to see Batman looming over him.

"Game over scum" he said as he drew back his fist.

"Ito-san!"

* * *

Hayagawa Kyoko was casually strolling along, a bright smile on her beautiful face as she eagerly looked forwards to meeting Ito for their date, when she heard the sounds of a struggle coming from around a corner.

Concerned, she hurried around the corner and froze in horror as she saw some guy in a funny costume knock Ito to the ground.

She cried, "Ito-san!"

Batman heard her and spun around to see her snatch up a dropped baseball bat and rush right at him. Caught by surprise he wasn't able to react in time as she brought her weapon right down on his head.

WHAM!

The impact almost sent him to his knees. Now it was his turn to see stars as he tried to stand up straight and focus on the furious girl.

"Leave Ito-san alone!"

Kyoko swung the bat as hard as she could, hitting Batman squarely in his left temple, and then again, this time hitting him right in the jaw. He toppled over and fell like a chopped-down oak tree. Before he landed he was out cold.

"Ito-san! Are you okay?" she asked as she crouched next to him.

"I'm okay" he replied.

They both stood up. Kyoko made a quick inspection to ensure that Ito was all right. Once she was satisfied that he was her concerned expression became one of fury.

"Why were you getting into a fight? We're supposed to be on a date!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Kyo-chan!" Ito pleaded. "It wasn't my fault! This guy jumped me and I tried to reason with him but he wouldn't listen. I acted purely in self-defence, I swear."

Her anger faded. "Oh Ito-san" she said sympathetically as she reached up and lightly touched his face. "These things always seem to happen to you don't they?"

"I was thinking exactly that myself" he replied distractedly as he enjoyed the feeling of her fingers on his face.

She smiled warmly. "Come on, let's go and enjoy our date."

He smiled back. "Right away Kyo-chan."

They held hands and happily strolled away.

* * *

Batman regained consciousness soon afterwards. Unfortunately by then the police had arrived and since he was surrounded by unconscious youths he was arrested. He managed to convince them that he was a drunken cosplayer and so got off fairly lightly. After recovering the stolen chips he left, vowing never to return to Tokyo if he could help it.

Meanwhile Ito and Kyoko had a wonderful date. Alas the next day Mitsuhashi learned about the incident and asked Ito if he had been involved. Despite his best efforts to dodge the questions Mitsuhashi managed to pry the truth from him and so for the next two months Ito had to put up with Mitsuhashi taunting him about how he had been trounced by a deranged cosplayer.


End file.
